IDGAF

I was once told that my spirit animal was a boar. Mirroring their nature to charge ahead of themselves and trample anything that comes in their way, boars are said to represent people who set their sights on goals and stop at nothing to achieve them, regardless of whatever happens to try to hold them down. They are also said to represent people who tackle situations head-on, knowing that this is the only way one can solve their problems (sauce here).

I will say that I don't know if I agree with this. But I will say I certainly don't like leaving anything unfinished. I've also reached a point in my life where, after the hardships I experienced years ago, I can no longer bring myself to give a crap about anything anymore when it comes to achieving my goals. If it means improvement and progress, I'm gonna say what needs to be said even if I'm treading on someone's precious little feelings. I do admit at times this kind of thought process causes me to be a bit reckless at times, but oddly enough I don't really feel that regretful at all. In fact, I feel very relieved.

Okinawan Rail

The Okinawan rail is a flightless bird that lives in the northern forests of Okinawa, in the Yanbaru area. It is characterized by its orange beak, gold and white feathers, a stout body and long legs. It was "discovered" by a biologist in the 1980's, but the locals had claimed then that they'd known of its existence for decades. It is considered an endangered species.

In Japanese, it is read as 山原水鶏 (ヤンバルクイナ), which can be literally read as, "a Yanbaru waterfowl".

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When I finished this, I thought, why not sign off in Japanese? I'm talking about something Japanese, after all.

Victoria "Tori" Hearthwell - R/S/E (2019)

A young girl who was mysteriously brought to the Pokémon World. Lonely and sheltered, she turned to video games to cope with the loss of her father, who left one day and whom she came to believe had left her and her mother for someone else. This instilled within her a deep, seething hatred for her father, and she taught herself early on to never be the same as he was.

When she was brought to the Pokémon World, she first strived to find a way to return to her homeworld. However, after befriending so many Pokémon--who became something akin to family to her, which she had wanted for a very long time--she decided to settle down and live along the riverbank of Route 119 with her Pokémon, living a simple and quiet life alongside them.

Interestingly, despite her own reasons for hating her father, she hardly seems bothered by the thought of leaving her own mother by herself. Whether it be because she would likely rather not sacrifice the happiness she found for the loneliness she felt in her own world, or perhaps her own mother failed to give her the attention she needed as a child, is a mystery.

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Tori at 12 years old.

I had drawn up a concept of her in her younger years before but I wondered if maybe I should have gone with something less tomboyish. I decided to keep it though because it harkens back to a much older character design that I once had for her.

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Gonna be posting a couple of my finished inks for Inktober, which I forgot to post because of my new job as a teacher. 😅 I didn't finish on time this year, but I'd still want to get the inks I managed to finish all posted up on the site.

We're Still Here | To a Once Cherished Friend

"Things aren't the same as they used to be. And I'm well aware that we can't go back to those days anymore. It's sad to think about and she's not with us anymore but guess what--I'm here, you're here, and we're still together because we stood up for what we believed in. I know how lonely it gets but I think we're gonna be alright, somehow... Yeah. Trust me; I've been through worse, so I would know."

"Yeah... You just rest your eyes. You and I are still together, and I've got your back no matter what. Personally, that's all that matters. To me, anyway."

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Three years ago, I made this ink depicting a time spent with my closest friends then. As it was made during a time when my outlook for the future was considerably bleak, this was one of my fondest memories.

But things have happened, things have changed. What used to be then is no more.

But even if it pains me to think so, I can contentedly say that I actually don't regret the choices I've made, the bridges I burned, and the friends I lost. I am well aware so much could have been avoided if I didn't say anything, but I would have betrayed myself and my best friend more if I didn't.

So if you're reading this, I say, thank you, my dear friend, for all you've done for me and my best friend. I've truly treasured our wonderful times together. You saved my life when I needed it the most. You helped shape me into the steadfast, determined woman I've become today, and as I've said to you many times before, I am eternally grateful.

I apologize that things turned out the way they have between us three. Had things turned out differently, perhaps, we all might have still been together, spending more halcyon days together.

However, in spite of my own gratitude, I will never apologize for defending what I believed was right. And I certainly won't apologize for breaking ties with a person who believes that it's perfectly okay for someone to be bullied and verbally abused. Don't talk to me about abandoning friends when you're one who abandons them yourself.

Friends are important, but so is the self-respect you give to yourself by standing up for your own values, regardless of the sacrifice. The time we spent together, sharing things together, had helped me eventually realize this.

And so despite my hatred, thank you, for everything, and goodbye... Forever.