In my attempt to keep my website up-to-date, I drew a new, more appropriate looking avatar for my current self (excuse the blurriness of the second photo).
Thing is, back then I hated my curly, unruly hair. I was so into straightening my hair so much that I'd do just about whatever to do that. Over time though, the constant straightening sessions just damaged my hair so badly, and I had an unhealthy obsession of trying to portray myself as the appearance I perceived to really be, which fucked me several times over mentally and emotionally. I had believed so hard that if I tried hard enough, I could become just what I thought I could be, but in the end, it was just me trying to be something that wasn't. It took me such a long time to realize that, and to realize how fucked up it really was.
I came to eventually embrace this part of myself. First, it was hair that most women were just dying to have but never could, and I felt proud knowing I naturally had something that people envied so much (as petty as it sounds). But the real thing that convinced me to be more accepting of it was the fact that my hair could never really be kept down no matter what anyone did; it was wild, unruly, and rebellious... And I realized my hair and I just weren't all that different. The whole thought of it amused me enough to just be okay with it.
Since then I've been taking biotin pills on a daily basis, and just letting my hair grow and free as it wants to be. I'm actually going for a bit of a Spanish look with it; still a ways to go, but I'm getting there.
No comments:
Post a Comment